So recently, my sister and I were hanging out in her living room. She was talking about how she feels all this pressure to write and get her creative projects done.
We went back and forth on it for a while and then I started to ask some questions, like therapist-style. She was laying supine on a couch, so it very much suited the mood.
I asked…”ok…imagine for a second that you are an orphan” (this is a big stretch for us because we are twins, but she went with it). “Imagine that you never had any parents…you don’t have any sisters, you don’t have me, or any aunts or uncles, no one to depend on, like Anne of Green Gables“.
She closed her eyes and started to imagine this scenario. She’s like “ok…now what”. And then I asked “So, without having to deal with the judgement and expectations of your family members, what do you do and …where do you live?”.
The answers she came up with were kind of…shocking! She imagined herself living in New York and being part of an improv comedy troupe like The Groundlings which she has NEVER brought up before, ever. Why?…because without having to take your family’s expectations into account, you are able to express and get down to your AUTHENTIC soul essence.
We spent the next 3 hours imagining our authentic lives and I also came up with some strange answers.
Here is what I got:
If I had no family and I was an orphan, I would:
Live in a big city and join a modern dance company, sort of similar to Alvin Ailey. We would wear white dresses and body suits in rehearsal.
In my everyday life I would wear a lot of white. Long white dresses, my hair is long and lighter in colour. In the winter time I have a big white puffy coat. It’s HUGE, but for some reason I don’t care how big and puffy it is, all that I care about is being super warm.
My house is filled with vases of flowers AND there’s potpourri everywhere (which is weird because I think potpourri is kind of lame, but maybe that’s subconscious judgement on my part!).
I spend a lot of time sitting or laying on the grass. I have a little white dog and a little white cat (I tell people all the time I don’t like cats, but maybe that’s not totally true…) and also another nondescript pet in a cage…(bird?).
There are also lots of stuffed animals on my bed, even though I’m an adult 🙃 . I read a lot of classic literature (like Little Women) which is also weird because I tell people all the time that I don’t like reading fiction?)…
I also listen to a lot of classical music as well as classical musical theatre like Rodgers and Hammerstein, which I do already! And finally, I’m eating a lot of muffins and baked goods. My soul wants muffins ?.
And then after I pictured everything, I started to think…
What do I need more of in my life?
Based on what I imagined, I gathered that what was missing in my life is more of that “flowy” movement. I chose to dance everyday, but I’m paying attention to the style of dance I chose.
In my current life, I actually would put modern dance on the bottom of my list for dance styles I want to practice. I prefer styles like jazz, hiphop and ballroom, but it looks like if I had no restrictions or outside judgements, I would want to spend every day moving in a slower, more “flowy” and feminine fashion.
The classical music and literature are telling me that as well. My true authentic self likes to live in a “softer”, “calmer” space and listen to music that has a “flowy” quality to it. The stuffed animals also point to the “soft” factor as well as the huge winter coat.
To break it down…I need more: “flowy movement”, “warmth” and “softness” in my life.
So now I’m thinking…
How can I bring these things into my current life?
I don’t believe that I should drop everything and join a modern dance company, but I do think I could choose to do for example, a slower-paced jazz class that really lets me stretch and show off my limbs.
And just because I pictured myself wearing a huge, puffy white winter coat, doesn’t mean I should go out and buy one! But maybe I should get a super warm one in a more neutral colour so it doesn’t get dirty.
See what I’m saying? I could also bring my teddies back to my apartment from my mom’s house, set them on my bed and NOT feel weird about it!
Final thoughts
After doing this exercise we literally felt reborn! I felt like I unlocked a part of myself that I had been ignoring for basically my entire life.
Expressing in a “flowy, feminine way” is an intrinsic part of who I am, and without bringing that type of movement into my routine, I will feel unbalanced.
For anyone wanting to unlock their feminine energy, I share 3 very powerful exercises in my book: “The Feminine Energy Keys“. It has really helped me live in this flowy, feminine state.
Also…click here to grab my rainbow spiritual journaling pack which has this exercise plus many others related to past lives, manifestation, meditation and more :)!
Now you try it!
Answer these questions:
1. If I had no family and was an orphan, I would…
2. Based on what I imagined, I need to bring more ___________ into my life
3. What are some action steps I can take right now to bring more of what my soul craves into my current life?
